nothing.

what is the meaning of friendship? i really don't know why i'm here now writing about it but i just thought of some old friends who i miss so much.. not only friends i still have but those i "lost"..
life is always unfair and always will be, right? why do i always have to lose the people i love? even family,friends,boyfriends.. and what is left? memories.. yeah memories.. i never tried to explain the meaning of that word.. i don't like memories, i hate them.. yes its the only thing left when we lose someone or even something and some people say memories should make us happy.. thinking of the person we used to have in our life and smile.. thinking of our memories with them.. memories don't make me happy.. they make me more sad and i really don't know why.. i just start crying when i even see a photo from the people i miss.. i just want to forget them.. i want to erase them from my mind but not from my heart.. like they never existed.. maybe that's bad but its the only way for me not to hurt.. like my favourite movie.. "you can erase someone from your mind..getting them out of your heart is another story.." erase someone? impossible i know but i just wish i could do it..
and what's that that makes a friendship strong? how can a friend or even a special person stay in your life for......ever? and what happends when you give all your love and you get nothing back? and why do you we have to get it back? and why not? so many questions that every person answers in a different way..
what can we do? maybe we don't have to be only good but not only bad.. we have to be both right? like yin and yang.. white has a dot from black and black has dot from the white.. because we can be good and a little bad.. and the opossite :/
i wish i could go back the time now just for little.. and try to take those people back..
i also wish i could give this to some of them and see how i feel.. every special person of mine has a part in my heart even though i'm nothing for them.. and even though i didn't get back what i gave..